You’ve probably already heard of the fiasco Microsoft is having with their Windows Live Santa instant messenger app. Tom Moynihan wrote about it over at The Register. Apparently it’s 2007 and they still can’t create an AI app that works better than something from 30 years ago. Chris Williams posted a follow up at The Register with the actual transcript. I tried a conversation at an Eliza website and for the life of me I couldn’t get Eliza to spontaneously say “It’s fun to talk about oral sex!”

Check out the results below:

Eliza: Hello. I am ELIZA. How can I help you?
You: I want something for Christmas
Eliza: Why do you want something for Christmas?
You: I want pizza
Eliza: Why do you want pizza?
You: i am a child
Eliza: How long have you been a child?
You: since I couldn’t get pizza
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: I want pizza from Santa Claus
Eliza: Why do you want pizza from Santa Claus?
You: because Santa makes the best pizza
Eliza: Do any other reasons not come to mind?
You: Santa is handsome
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Santa is fat
Eliza: Please go on.
You: I haven’t seen Santa in a long time
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: I want oral sex
Eliza: Why do you want oral sex?

Eliza may not be as sophisticated as Microsoft’s Santa, but at least she has more tact.

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